It's hard to watch a parent get old. I guess I always want my Mom to baby me no matter how old I get. The memories from my childhood still repeat themselves sometimes when Mom says "You want something to eat?" at 10 pm as I am getting ready for bed when I stay the weekend at her house. We never were hungry for very long at Mom's.
But, as time goes on, I start to feel the pains and aches of getting older myself. And as that happens, I realize that my Mom is always 20 years older than me...almost to the day. I still see her as a young 35 year old reaching into the back seat to slap my leg before I knew what had happened. Whatever I was doing to warrant that pain stopped immediately. I'm sure that it needed to stop.
With the increase in age, more so for Mom now, are the signs of aging. The mind doesn't quite work like it used to, even though she is still always right and I am always wrong. Things I told her yesterday about a job next month do not process the same. I get a call the next day to ask how the job is and it still hasn't happened. Doctor's appointments, which are more and more frequent, are mixed up. A calendar helps, but not if it isn't written down properly in the first place.
Then there are the physical things. Last week as we were eating at a restaurant, she picked her fork up and held it in front of her for a few seconds as she looked at something across the room. Her hand shakes as she holds her fork. I don't think she notices because it has slowly happened over a period of time. But, being the first time I've seen it happen, I notice.
Then there is her hearing. If you know me very well, I absolutely HATE repeating myself. So, it is a struggle for me to try to carry on a normal conversation with her now and I know that she doesn't appreciate it when I speak loudly in public when I have to repeat something I just said. We have had the conversation with her about hearing aids. I'm not winning.
Right now, as we speak, Mom is in the hospital due to a bad case of bronchitis. She gets this 2 or 3 times a year, but this time was worse because she didn't so anything about it. She had the opportunity to make a doctor's appointment, but it was two days away and she doesn't like to wait, so she decided not to schedule it. Finally, she went to an urgent care center and was given a prescription to pick up at the local pharmacy. When she go there, she found out that the cough medicine, an expectorant, would cost $44 to purchase. She can afford it, but she thought that was too expensive, so she decided not to get it. Then, she went to a local craft store and proceeded to buy $90 of Easter decorations. Her decision-making skills are starting to diminish.
My sister is Mom's primary care giver and I am nearby more than what I used to be, so I try to help as much as I can. And my brother, who lives near Dallas, can come at almost anytime. We are near to making some serious decisions on behalf of our Mother and it is not something any of us are ready to do. But, we have to. It is part of the cycle of life we all have to go through. It's not easy, but there is no way around it.
Tell your parents how much you love them every chance you get. You only have a limited amount of time to spend with them.
